Dear Bunmi,
Since my childhood friend was appointed to a lucrative position, my life has taken a turn for the better. He’s referred numerous contracts my way, allowing us to complete our homes and upgrade our cars.
Additionally, he made my wife the official caterer for his organization, and she has become financially independent as well. However, her spending habits have raised concerns—she buys expensive aso-ebi without hesitation, and her jewelry collection is overwhelming.
Recently, her catering responsibilities have expanded to include lunch for the company’s directors. Rumors have also surfaced that my friend is regularly involved with my wife, and no one in his office dares complain about the quality of her catering services.
I attempted to stop her from working, but when I did, my contracts dried up, and it became difficult to even collect payments for completed jobs. Reluctantly, I lifted the ban, and soon enough, contracts started coming in again.
I feel humiliated by the situation. Our children have grown accustomed to a luxurious lifestyle, and I’m not willing to go back to the days of struggling.
I’ve been advised to turn a blind eye, as situations like this are apparently common. But the truth is, I no longer love my wife. Yet, I fear that if I ask her to leave, I and our three children would bear the consequences. We’ve been married for 19 years. (Albert, via email.)
 

Dear Albert,
It’s common these days for some men to use their wives as leverage for business gains without a second thought.
Clearly, you feel betrayed by both your friend and your wife, but ask yourself— is the wealth you’ve acquired worth sacrificing your dignity? And what about your children?
Will they not notice that their mother has become the dominant figure in the family? Where does that leave you?
Your concern is that if you ask your wife to leave, she may simply walk away without a care in the world.
Ultimately, only you can decide which of these two painful options is the right path to take.